I am going to spend one hour writing; I am going to say something brilliant and beautiful. It will rhyme with fondue. I am going to march down to the coffee shop and open my giant laptop, string my power cord between legs of tables and around arms resting on chair backs. I will apologize and connect steadfastly to the World Wide Web. I am going to balance Earl Grey on my knee (because the computer takes up the whole table) and witty words will flow from my fingers. I will not get distracted daydreaming about spending my tax refund on frilly things trimmed in black lace, trips to the Bahamas or getting my hair blown out so that I look like a super star. I won’t take pictures of the latte art and waste time thinking of clever #hashtags.
Fondue, Fondue, Fondue, I mean, there are so many good words I could use.
Hindu, Malibu, Nephew, Over View, Cockatoo, Impromptu, Pan Perdue, Ocean View, Honeydew.
I will save half of this cookie for later and I won’t compare the cappuccino to Ritual. It’s good enough.
Haiku, Argue, Interview, Gumshoe, Residue, Bayou, Countersue, Rendezvous, Bug-a-boo, Face Value.
I will bulldoze through writer’s block like something, something… something really strong smashing through something. Not… Very... Strong?
Honolulu, BBQ, Menu, Cashew, Breakthrough, SNAFU, Preview, Snowshoe, Revenue, Virtue, Subaru.
I will use prose with conviction and a lady like tone. I will teach you all about the history of melted cheese and why you need more of it in your life. I won’t spell anything incorrectly.
You will print this recipe out and make it for your next date, your best friend will spill secrets over it, his father will think you are precious and they’ll ask you to make it again and again. Don’t quit your day job Honeypot. Adieu.
Gouda and Ale Fondue (*Gouda and Ale Soup)
makes 4 servings
2 Slices of Bacon, Thinly Sliced
½ Red Onion, Thinly Sliced
1 TS Cumin Seeds, Toasted
½ Cup Dark Ale
½ Cup Vegetable stock
1 TS Worcestershire Sauce
1 TS Brown Deli Style Mustard
2 TB Flour
8 OZ Aged Gouda, Coarsely Shredded
Salt and Pepper to taste
Delicious and Dippable
Grilled Bratwurst or Kielbasa
Cubes of Rye Bread
Cornichons and other pickled vegetables
Heat the ale and stock in a medium saucepan over low heat. In a separate skillet cook the thinly sliced bacon until crisp, remove and set aside. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of fat from the skillet and then cook the sliced onions (covered) until soft, which takes about five minutes. Add a few table spoons of the stock/ale mixture and stir occasionally until the onions are lightly browned. Toss the shredded cheese with the flour. Add, in handfuls to the stock/ale mixture and bring up to moderate heat, stir constantly and wait until each batch is melted before adding the next one. Once all the cheese is melted, stir vigorously, until it is super creamy. Add the bacon, ½ of the onions (the rest will be garnish), and remaining seasonings. Float the rest of the onions on top. Serve warm with lots of delicious things. Spark Conversation.
*Remixed – Ale and Gouda Soup
After crisping the bacon and browning the onions, add in a finely diced carrot, stalk of celery and two garlic cloves. Sauté. Add in the ale and an additional cup of vegetable stock. Continue following the cheese instructions above and stir in ¼ cup of half and half once the cheese is melted. Take it to work with you and eat it for lunch, aromatherapy increases work flow and synergy.